======================================================================
   ANALYSIS PROF PROVES THAT COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING DOES NOT EXIST
======================================================================

A professor in the Department of Mechanical Engineering has found
strong evidence that the FAMU-FSU College of Engineering does not
exist.  As the professor, who teaches Analysis in Mechanical
Engineering, explains it, his first suspicions were aroused when the
FAMU/FSU College of Engineering suddenly was set equal to the FAMU-FSU
College of Engineering.  Why the sudden name change, if there was
nothing to hide?

The professor quickly realized that the name change could be expressed
as the mathematical equality

                     FAMU / FSU = FAMU - FSU.

However, at first he was uncertain how to proceed.  According to the
professor: "The above problem takes the form of an `underdetermined
non-linear system of equations.'  It is known that such problems do not
usually have unique solutions.  Typically, additional information is
needed."

The solution to this problem initially evaded the Professor, until he
realized that FAMU and FSU were to be equal partners in the College
of Engineering.  This lead him to the additional constraint

                           FAMU = FSU.

The rest was easy. According to the Professor, "using advanced mathematical
techniques, the above two equations can be reduced to the much simpler

                      FSU / FSU = FSU - FSU = 0.

However, the ratio FSU/FSU can only equal zero if FSU itself is zero,
eliminating half of the College of Engineering.  Further, because of
the previously noted equality between FAMU and FSU, FAMU must be zero
too, eliminating the remaining half.  QED."

The Professor notes that his result also explains an earlier paradox,
namely how the FAMU/FSU Institute of Engineering could change into the
FAMU/FSU College of Engineering.  The equality

 FAMU/FSU Institute of Engineering = FAMU/FSU College of Engineering

is satisfied since the factors multiplying Institute and College are
zero.

Reactions to the discovery varied.  An FSU administrator merely asked
`What College of Engineering?'  However, at FAMU, physical plant
personel explained that the remote off-campus location made it
difficult to establish with certainty whether the College of
Engineering did in fact exist.  On both campusses, busloads of people
leaving for the FSU golf course had been mistaken for students and
faculty of the College of Engineering.

Downtown, several legislators privately expressed outrage that
tax-payer money has been spend to support a College of Engineering
that turned out not to exist.  "This is worse than $400.00 toilet
seats", noted one legislator, who asked to remain anonymous.  "At
least those were real."

Even earlier, a psychologist at one of the two universities had
expressed doubt whether a mysterious College of Engineering
would exist somewhere in Innovation park.  In her words, "The rumor
about a College of Engineering in Tallahassee should be treated
as an Urban Myth, similar to the rumor of crocodiles in the sewer
system of New York City.  Nobody knows how such rumors arise."
======================================================================