#: 133331 S2/Star Trek
    04-Jul-87  12:24:10
Sb: #133311-#Sentient Beings
Fm: David Gerrold 70307,544
To: Michael Norlan 72017,235 (X)

Ahem.  Michael, despite all of her humble claims to the contrary, Rita
retired undefeated.  I suggest you drop a groaner or two into this sig
and you'll find out for yourself whether Rita can still thwack it or
not.  It is only the fact that Rita is still around that keeps me from
telling the story about the man who was dying of thirst and stumbled
into a small Australian town called Mercy where they didn't serve
anything but --

No, I'd better stop.

dg


#: 133415 S2/Star Trek
    04-Jul-87  20:19:54
Sb: #133368-#Sentient Beings
Fm: David Gerrold 70307,544
To: Ilene Schneider 72467,3255

Well, you see in this particular town, Mercy be its name, they're all
members of a very strict religious sect.  They don't drink carbonated
beverages.  They don't drink alcohol.  They don't drink brewed
beverages like coffee or cocoa. What they do drink is a very special
kind of herb tea, which has to be steeped for a week in the pouch of a
Koala bear ....

No, I better stop here.

dg

#: 133490 S7/The Con Suite
    05-Jul-87  02:50:05
Sb: #133415-#More Whacking
Fm: David Gerrold 70307,544
To: David Gerrold 70307,544 (X)

So the guy, who hasn't had a drink of water or anything else in six
weeks comes crawling into town on his hands and knees and just manages
to make it to the local "tavern" where he crawls up to the inn-keeper
and begs for a glass of water.  But the tavern-keeper explains to him
that the water in the Australian outback is so bad that it's
undrinkable.  It's full of alkalai.  So the guy croaks out,  "Okay,
give me an ice-cold Coca-Cola (classic)."  And the bartender informs
him that this is the town of Mercy and,  "the people of Mercy don't
drink carbonated beverages."  So the guy asks for a beer and the tavern
keeper explains that the people of Mercy don't believe in alcoholic
beverages either.  The guy manages to gasp out a request for coffee,
but neither are there any brewed beverages served in Mercy.  The guy is
exhaling dust now ....

No, I'd better stop.  This one could have fatal consequences.

dg


#: 133535 S7/The Con Suite
    05-Jul-87  13:24:09
Sb: #133518-#More Whacking
Fm: David Gerrold 70307,544
To: Blade Runner 70116,1416

Well, so finally the guy says,  "What do you drink here in Mercy?"  And
the tavern-keeper explains that they brew a special herb tea steeped in
the pouch of a Koala bear for three weeks.  This neutralizes the
alkalai in the water and is said to be most refreshing and
invigorating.  Well, the guy is gasping and he says,  "Okay, okay --
give me some of your herb tea!"  So the tavern keeper pours him a big
mug of it and the man quaffs it eagerly.  Suddenly, he starts spitting
it out in horrible distaste because --

Nope.  Nope.  Rita will get me for this.  I can't go on.

dg

#: 133567 S7/The Con Suite
    05-Jul-87  18:15:25
Sb: #133545-More Whacking
Fm: David Gerrold 70307,544
To: Joe Sewell 74136,360 (X)

(Gasp) (Hack) (Cough)  So, the guy spits out a big disgusting mouthful
of this terrible herb tea, steeped in the pouch of the Koala bear,
because the water in the town of Mercy is just too alkalai to drink and
there's just a big gob of hair in it, and the guy says,  "Yak!  What is
this?"  And the tavern-keeper says calmly,  "It's Koala-hair, sir."
And the guy says,  "What the hay? Don't you even strain it out?!!"  At
which point the tavern-keeper replies
...

Nope,  I can't do it.  I just can't do it.

dg


#: 133568 S7/The Con Suite
    05-Jul-87  18:15:32
Sb: #133545-#More Whacking
Fm: David Gerrold 70307,544
To: Joe Sewell 74136,360 (X)

(Yes I can)

"Sir!  The Koala-Tea of Mercy is Not Strained!"

dg